Glum December part 1

Glum December...
Remembering *Chi (not real name.. duh...)

By looking at him, *Chi signifies of what upbringing he came from. He always had the finest things that life can offer. Everything new and up to beat, his manners skilled to the test. That's one of the reasons why I had fallen for him. He has this captivating smile even though he has braces. The combination of Chinese and American blood did him some good.

Whenever the month of December arrives, I feel a flood of anguish reverberate all over me. A lot of memories flood my thoughts on how the years past, thinking that time only stood still between us (OMG, total drama..). I can't say that he was the perfect mate yet he makes an effort to be one. One things that I can't forget about him is how he'll make you laugh..

He would talk to me endlessly about his crazy antics, his run ins with his parents and grandparents and how much he prioritizes his family...

There is one thing that I hated about him.. He's a "WOMANIZER WOMANIZER" (thinking of Britney's song! lol ). Man it was like hell! There were girls from all corners... Being a so called "martyr" at that time, I tolerated his acts..

I came into my senses one morning and told him that everything is through.. Which led to a ruckus (it was December 23..). Things happened so fast, I was moving on in my life. I was happy again, then I received a message coming from him (it was around December 29). He was asking me to call him back. No replies were made from me but there was this stunning message he sent me.

"I want to take care of you forever.. I am going to break up with the other girls."

no reply...

"Why are you not replying?! Don't you see I am falling for you?"

no reply... I was thinking, okay, this is all crap again..

This is how much I can remember though. He even left a message to his younger sibling to be relied to me (We both can't remember what the rely message was).

It was January __ 2004 around 12am, his sibling called me asking bout *Chi's where- abouts. I was baffled at the time because I had a class the next day.

"Why don't you ask one of his hoes? I never received any messages from him lately. I don't mean to be rude sweetie.. Just keep me posted when he replies to you."I told sibling.

"I have tried calling *Chi for the nth time already and he is not picking up! Let me try again and I will let you know A.S.A.P" Sibling replied.

I just resumed my sleep.. Then I had this dream about him, I can still remember it as clearly as day. The dream takes place in a Mall, we were just there, talking and joking each other as if nothing bad has happened. It was weird too that we also ate some fries. There was a time that he held my hand, it was very cold (omg is this Edward Cullen? lol), being tactless and blunt I asked him "Why are your hands cold?"

"Never mind that"(Sadness is written all over his face). Then he hugged me...

"Hey you're too cold man! really cold"

"I know by this time, I would be with you forever..." (he lowered down his lips and kissed me for the last time). "I need to go now."

"Can't I come with you please?"

"No you can't I am sorry..."

"But why can't I come with you?" (grabbing him by his shirt)

"You really can't and I don't want you to come with me.... aishiteru (of course he said this in English)"

Then I woke up,time was 3am, my phone was ringing. I answered it, Sibling was on the other line.

"Reeze! *Chi has died 30 minutes ago! He and his friends had one of his drinking sprees in _______ .. They all decided to go to Baguio to stay overnight at the cottage. Chi did not drive, He let his drunk friend drive! Only 2 of them are now in critical condition..", I can hear her sobbing.

I was struck dumbfounded. Unable to grasp any words, I just felt my tears. I didn't know if I was happy or sad about the situation. Definitely not happy. I cried all through out that time. I was not able to think straight.. I can't concentrate...

I did my best to move on again... This time it was tougher... The only regret I have was that I was not able to be by his side. I was not able to forgive him..

It has already been 4 years (Turning 5 years next month) since God claimed *Chi back from us. I will never forget him though. Nobody was able to survive the crash the 2 in critical condition died a few weeks later on....

wait for part 2....

xoxo