Racism - The practice of racial discrimination, segregation.You may ask why I am tackling this issue again. I was able to read a certain blog about an Ignorant Girl's experience when she went to an immersion. Just by reading it, made my blood boil and curdle! I know that nobody is perfect but being racist and discriminating about some one, and even your own race is sickening.
Discrimination - to distinguish, to make distinctions in treatment; show partiality or prejudice..
I am NEVER doing that EVER AGAIN!
Sun 11:32 pm
I owe so many people stories about my weekend so I figured, instead of having to keep on retelling this, remembering my last 3 days, I should just …
OhmyGod, that was the most miserable weekend of my life.
Week before immersion
-Naive silly girl thought going to live with the Aeta’s (sic) would be an adventure.
-Daddy wasn’t so happy with the idea.
+Lectured me about how I should avoid talking about politics when I was there (Uhm… why the hell would I do that?! With the Aetas?! What the hell …) and how to act if I came across the NPA.
+he kept bugging me to pack his Swiss knife. Actually HOVERED until I put it inside my bad (sic) when I was packing. Jesus.
+Mother dear was SLIGHTLY better.
+No annoying ridiculous lectures BUT she brought me to my doctor and insisted that I have all my shots practically all in one go. So yeah. I’m now immune to everything from MNR to Typhoid to all the Hepas. The only vaccine that wasn’t given was the HPV one because I really don’t think I can get cervical cancer from indigenous interaction.
Orientation
- Arrived an hour and a half late drunk as hell HAHAHA
+I still managed to somehow remember unpleasant things to take note of, such as how … I don’t what it was that we weren’t supposed to do but it involved something like unintentionally giving these signals that Hey! I want to marry you! WTF WTF WT. It was like Holy Week in SUbic again when I glamorized wanting to go to a strip club thinking it would be something like the movie Closer, but as we were driving near the strip joints I was slowly realizing thow ugly everything was. I got seriously scared.
Thursday night
-Did not sleep AT ALL because I was too freaked and for the longest time I was just seriously curled up in a ball in my bed to condition my mind to survive the ugliness. (I sent freaked messages to CAN.)
-Only started to pack past midnight.
+Ehe! Thank you Risa but I used your picture in the Theo book as my reference as to what to wear, what bag to bring, and how big the bag could be. Heehee!
FRIDAY
-Left 4:30AM
+@ hours bus ride
+2 more hours or so in a ’special’ jeepney that can drive through the lahar and cross rivers.
+approx. 30 minute hike STRAIGHT UP the mountain. Surprisingly the hike wasn’t that long nor was it that difficult. It wasn’t a Patag Yoga Experience and I didn’t have Dudie, Mark, nor Paolo to hold my hand and keep from dying but thank God I didn’t see any snakes.
-Finally up there ….
+Our OSCI person Dudj announced that each one of us will be living in his/her adopted Aeta family.
*Translation: I WAS GOING TO BE ALONE WITH A RANDOM AETA FAMILY.
*Better Translation: OHMYGOD I’M IN HELL.
-HELL:
+No proper plumbing. I did NOT bathe AT ALL during my entire stay there! I kept my hair up and would only sponge my arms and legs and then constantly re-apply Off. Besides! How could I have bathed when we weren’t even allowed to take off our clothes? I’m sorry if I equaste taking a bath with nudity!!!
+THERE WERE SO MANY CHILDREN!!!Seriously!These people have no concept of family planning whatsoever! Even worse, SO MANY DIRTY KADIRI CHILDREN!!! Like in my family, I had this killer horror little Aeta boy with constant UHOG in either only red shorts or an oversized shirt with NOTHING UNDER who was CONSTANTLY WARBLING TO HIMSELF OR SINGING WITH A SIBAT!!! OH.MY.FUCKING.GOD. All the kids there were either coughing, wet with their sipon, with SORE eyes, some gross thing in their eyes or some festering wound or unsightly skin thingy!!! @#^!@%@$!!! I seriously did NOT WANT ANY OF THEM TOUCHING ME.
-I think I got sort of hit on by a drunk Aeta??
+______, WTF, IKR. Anyway, story is, I was lounging outside with my sister and her friends and there was this guy there too. I had no clue as to what they were saying but occasionally the creepy guy would ask me questions and they would all laugh. Lalala I wasn’t paying much attention but then I started to hear my sister, her friends, and the guy start to bicker. My sister would say “Sige sabihin mo nga sa kanya sa Tagalog!” then he would say “Ikaw! Sabihin mo sa kanya!” Then my sister would tell me “Sila ang wag mong pakinggan! Wag ka maniniwala sa kanila.Until my sister and friends told me “Alis na tayo ate! Lasing sya!: and when I asked what he was saying they were like “Uhh … mabait ka daw ate. (giggle) Wag ka nalang maniwala sa kanya.”
SATURDAY
-Trek to where they farmed (Gasak)
+It was kind of funny because my sister ran back up the mountain to get the umbrella. So I was trekking the lahar with an umbrella. How very me. HAHAHA
+I fell asleep thrice on a rock while waiting for them to cook the rice and then the sigarilyas. OhmyGod I actually tried and now know what the hell sigarilyas in Bahay Kubo is. It tasted funny.
+There was this tiny lake-ish with tiny waterfalls and smart idea of mine I decided to try to take a bat there. So smart. It was freakin’ cold and Ic ould dip in deeper than my waist so i ended up walking back home with my DENIM PANTS and undies soaked. Good job me.
-Took a nap for not more than an hour when my sister woke me up to trek again, this time to the hot springs.
+OHMYGOD first semblance of actual civilization!!! The hot springs were in the middle of nowhere and walking through the lahar and crossing rivers that amusingly got hotter and hotter. The umbrella serve a dual purpose of not only protecting me from the sun but also shoving the plants away.
+It was this open developed pool-like area where the water of the springs were redirected. THERE WAS AN ACTUAL TOILET. I PEED FOR THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME. Oh thank God!!!
-By the end of the day my foot was over scrubbed with lahar and rocks. I swear they should market like a Lahar Body Scrub only with moisturizer.It was like grey sand.
-WORST NIGHTMARE:
+Fabulous idea of holding a community night!!! YAY!!! WOW!!! Yeah. Right. No electricity duh so there was this huge bonfire which only made me cough and hurt my eyes. But OH.GOD. My sister sat me down on some chair and CHILDREN STARTED TO FLOCK AROUND ME. They were all so close I tried so hard not to breathe deeply so I wouldn’t smell them. Plus IT WAS DARK SO GOD KNOWS IF THER ALL CLEAN OR NOT OH GOD.
+Also funny children … but the girls even Friday afternoon kept going near me trying to get me to talk.And whenever I would say something they would giggle and say “Ate maliit po boses nyoo, Parang ibon.” WTF … so that night while I was being suffocated by a flock children this girl goes “Ate taw ka nalang! Parang boses ni Dyesebel!” WTF WTF …
SUNDAY
-Some sharing thing then I went back to the house and faked eating
+Did NOT AT ALL eat during the immersion. Like per meal I would only probably total half a spoonful of rice. But to make it seem to them that I was eating, I would smoosh the rice and push it to the edge of the plat to make it seem like there’s space where rice used to be and like mess it up with sabaw. I just couldn’t eat their food even if they don’t give me anything gross, mostly veggies. But everything made me barfy and even the rice tasted funny! So whatever food I stuffed in my mouth I would just hold my breath and swallow. I hated meal time because I always felt bad. Tatay would always tell me “Pasensya na blahblahblah” so I would keep insisting that I really don’t eat even in Manila but nanay’s cooking was really good… I felt really bad!!!
-I packed then slept again and by the time I woke up were about to leave so YAY! Tatay gave me bananas and papayas and talbos ng saging to bring home to Manila and for the last time my sister helped me down the mountain.
-ROADTRIP HELL:
+Inside the jeepney a bunch of Aetas rode with us and TWO OF THE KIDS HAD SORE EYES!!! The mother carrying a baby with weird stuff in her eyes was squatting across me and SHE FREAKIN’ PICKED HER NOSE AND I SWEART TO GOD I THINK SHE BRUSHED HER FINGER AGAINST MY LEGGINGS. OH, FREAKIN’ LORD.
-So we finally reached McDonald’s and I soaped myself so many times and everyone I think knew that I was the one who had the hardest time and they all laughed when they saw my McDonald’s tray. I won’t mention everything that I ate because Meling might un-friend me.
BACK
-Busride
+Some lolo selling whatever elbowed me in the face then chose to hover right beside me! I mean seriously, I love you lolo and I respect your livelihood but gawd! Can you please not count your money right next to me?!! Gawd lolo go hover somewhere else.
+Good for nothing bus did not drop us off directly at the station Cubao so I had to walk! Who knew that stupid papayas were so heavy?! Ugh.
-Mum and daddy picked me up and mum met me half-way while I was walking towards the car. First thing she said when she saw me? “OhmyGod!” Wow. Either I looked that ugly, miserable, or both. Then inside the car dad tried to joke and told me that I smelled like an Aeta and laughed. I said I know its disgusting and he shut up. I was so in grumpy child mode.
-I don’t think I ever loved the shower that much … I shampooed and scrubbed my hair and my body until they hurt … apricot scrubbed myself … totally over perfumed. Hygiene I love you. And I just had a two hour full body massage while listening to a mix of Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz, Kings of Convenience and Postal Service. Music FINALLY.
Seriously though, the only thing that kep me sane was the really pretty view being on top of a cliff and all and how everything was so airy and spacious. Life there is so monotonous and droll and time was soooo sloooow, but so weird I got kind of jealous at how simply happy they were. I was jealous at how uncomplicated everything there was. (Yeah, yeah I realized a couple of things but that’s reserved for my actual reflection paper because that’s not what you guys are after haha) But honestly sorry St. Ignatius, I was NOT immersed. If anything, the trip was like a test of true patience for me and how well I could mentally block everything. Like aside from being the girl in our group who is known for her amazing bladder and colon control skills, I’m like also the girl who can keep sleeping anywhere and everywhere. It was like my spacing-out skills at its finest.
Ugh. I swear though. Ive developed like penis fear (my parents should be so thankful) from all the naked dirty children. And if for the next couple of days I see children, even cute white ones, I swear I will kick them. Same goes for animals. Not even my potential fluffy bunny. Or if I hear some dialect (no offence Marc and Dianne I loff you!!!), I will throw a hissy fit.
P.S. Fuck you Niche and Sib! I’M NOT PREGNANT KNOCKED UP CARRYING AN INDIGENOUS OFFSPRING!
Gawd. I’m so glad to be back home. Hug me. =(
Racism & Discrimination is not tolerated. I have no tolerance for this type of people.. By doing this, she's now famous in the blogging world with the likes of Malou.
If she has nothing good to write/say about, better not write/say anything it at all.
I am no Mother Theresa or Princess D, I have flaws too. If I know that I did something wrong, I retract it . But for this girl, I do hope that she changes for the better. Being shallow, self-centered & ignorant is very atrocious. This will not work for her in the so called real world.
Yet, I am very thankful that I was blessed on meeting friends (sons and daughters of prominent people...) when I was in college who does not act like imbeciles. Yes, they are rich but they know how to place themselves when they go to such places.
I can't blame her friend who tries to defend her. That's what true friends are. I give her kudos for standing up for her.
Not all rich people act ill like that (I am not saying that I am from the elite...). I made such accusations right there and then but not knowing who she really is or what her point was. Maybe her main point was that she's a PARIS HILTON too that she does not need to experience such things.. Get a life, she won't be able to attain the likes & statures of Paris Hilton and the such elites in the glamour world that she's pretending to be.
Now here's my retraction...
I was able to talk to the said girl and heard her side of the story. The blog was supposedly meant for her friends. Then it just leaked out.. I know I have said such harsh words. So I am retracting what I said.
ReezentotIt just made me think to, I am discriminating someone without knowing their side of the story too.. Now I feel disgusted at myself, becoming someone I hate to death. I am not being "plastic" nor two faced. Is it that bad to clarify each side of the story.. Reality really bites
Today at 6:33pm
just to let you know.. you're being hated in the blog world with the blog that you have posted and such...
Tracy
Today at 10:00pm
Yes I am fully aware of the gravity and extent of what is happening right now, but thank you still. =)
Someone stole it from my CONTACTS only account. Sigh sigh. Thing is i know how rude and offensive it sounded but that was because I was expecting it to be read by my friends only who understood a kind of dark quirky humor of mine that really would make other people mad. It was a post meant to be comical (exaggerated rudeness and ditzy-ness, although still not with some truth to it of course) for my friends to laugh at... then of course it leaked. Sigh sigh.
I am just waiting for this to blow over (as typical 'internet sensations' usually do), because seriously. People, focus on real issues not on some spoiled sheltered girl. Haha. Again, your note was much appreciated. =)
Reezentot
Today at 10:06pm
your welcome and i am glad that you were able to reply back. I also need to know your side of story still..
I would retract what i said.. for i said some crude remarks as well without knowing your side of the story...
I know how it feels to be discriminated & beyond. Reminds me of hermoine (from Harry Potter, goblet of fire when the so called skeeter woman did some things to her..).
=)
Reezentot
Today at 10:10pm
if you dont mind, can i post your reply in my blog for my retraction? if you mind i would understand.. I also want to let other readers know your side of the story as well.
tracy
Today at 10:17pm
oh its no problem! just to let you know though, you will be the first to post something that has directly come from me. hahaha uyyy! special! hahaha! if i got paid for every time my entries would be reposted, you would get a fair cut of the commission for this one. hahaha! =P
thank you for your retraction. i hope there are more ppl like you out there who have a better sense of discernment and not to just simply jump at every and any opportunity to do something mean that they know will be inconsequential to them. and so as i have discovered? the internet is the perfect avenue for that! hahaha!
oh you can post this too! =P
So for whoever reads my blog. Be the judge.
xoxo
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15 comments:
Does this incident mean that "Secret : for friends only" does not exist in the internet?
Hi periwinkle! thank you so much for visiting my site.
here's my opinion though. that can be one of the reasons why her so called blog was leaked in the internet...
one of my hypothesis (scientific methods of reasoning? lol) is that one of her inner circle friends (that person might have a grudge on her...) leaked her blog about her immersion.
things happen for a reason why this so called controversial blog is being posted in all blogs all over the internet..
Only tracy knows the root of this.
thanks again...
No privacy protocol can stand up to a breach of trust.
that's true...
makes you think of whom you would trust
My take on this ... she's not sorry at all for what she said. That makes her a big bitch in my book. If she had all those nasty thoughts in mind, why even push through with the immersion? If she was such a princess, couldn't Daddy pay off the school to exclude her from immersion so she won't suffer?
that I do not know..
But, I do see your point regarding on why she pushed herself to go through the immersion if she didn't want to go to such places...
There are different types of people who would react to such immersions that changes their outlook on life, they seem to be enlightened about the people around them & the facade that media a like simply vanished.
For others, it just seems that they can't handle too much of the said reality, becomes too surreal or too hideous for them to take in. That's the negative thing about sheltering kids too much..
I would not know why she pushed through with the immersion..
thanks for dropping by.
galing mo palang mag inglis!!! bakit pag kauspa ka ni anthony atras dila mo ha ha ha ha ha
This is such a good read. I also hate discrimination and try my best to fight against it by employing some native people in our farm. Maybe that way, people would realize that we are all the same.
I really don't think she's sorry at all. She could have written about her experience without all the insults. I think she shouldn't have gone with the trip.
Kung may pinagaralan ka, kahit sabihin mo pang diring-diri ka sa lugar na pinuntahan mo, may maayos at disenteng paraan para ilahad at ibahagi mo yung karanasan mo.
Tracy's Theo professor is Mr. Bobby Guevara. I took him last sem and before our immersion, he pleaded with us...he specifically requested that if we're not into it (the immersion), wag nlng daw kami tumuloy para hindi masaktan ung mga taong magpapatuloy sa amin. Sana, sinunod nlng ni Tracy ang pakiusap ni sir. Meron naman kasing alternative eh, pwdeng gumawa nlng ng paper na mahaba.
Sir Bobby is probably the most kindhearted and sincerest person I know. Sana lang hindi nya mabasa ung blog ni Tracy. Baka magkaheartattack pa sya :( He doesn't deserve that. If something happens to sir, ikaw mananagot, Tracy!
this girl seems like she has a good head on her shoulders. if anything, she's just too sheltered. i personally think she is handling all the public condemnation very well.
it was for her friends. it's understandable, but still no excuse. although i really don't think she was trying to excuse herself, so again. being responsible about it. and i mean God knows how we talk with our own group of friends. i curse a lot when i'm with them too. and if since it was her for her friends only, then no wonder she thought she could let anything and everything out of her system.
she shouldn't have gone to immersion if she couldn't handle it. but i think in her university it's required. or... well she has her own reasons.
so she didn't have to go on immersion naman pala eh! but sabi niya sa simula nang blog niya na akala niya 'adventure'or parang ganon. akala niya siguro makakayanan niya o camping trip o ewan. tapos nabigla.
binasa ko ulit blog niya eh... parang... siguro nga sa inis ko sa simula puro yung masama lang pumasok sa ulo ko. pero basahin niyo ulit. hindi naman one line after another kasamaan. it was just naiveness on her part sa tingin ko.
John 8:7
"... (Jesus) said to them, 'If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.'"
Ang mga pinoy ba talagang mapaglinis? Mga perpektong tao? Batuhan ng batuhan ng mga masasakit na mga salita laban sa isang taong nagkamali. Oo, accountable siya sa mga pinagsasabi niya tungkol sa mga kababayan nating mga Aeta, subalit hindi ito lisensya para batuhin natin siya hanggang sa mamatay siya. Hindi man literal na pagkamatay, ito ay pagkamatay sa pagkatao.
Puro tayo nagtuturo. Nakita ba natin ang ating mga sarili sa salamin? Ginagawa din natin yan ngunit sa mga ibang level o kabigatan. Porket ba mas mabigat ang nagawang kamalian ng babaeng ito ay may karapatan na tayong husgahan ang kapwa natin tao?
Kahit pumatay pa siya ng tao at ikaw ay nagnakaw lamang ng isang sentimo, pareho laman ito sa harapan ng Lumikha. Hindi tinitimbang ang kasalanan. Ang kasalanan niya at kasalanan natin at pareho lamang sa mata ng Diyos. Wala kahit sino man sa atin ang may karapatan na duruduruin na lang at kaladkarin ang pagkatao nitong babae na ito.
Hindi ko sinasabi na tama ang kanyang mga ginawa. Matapos kong mabasa ang kanyang mensaheng pribado, lumalabas na ito ay isa lamang matapat na pagrerecord ng kanyang eksperyensya, kilala natin ito sa tawag na diary bago pa lumaganap ang internet sa ating bansa.
Kung babasahin maigi, makikita natin na siya ay nag-da-diary. Mayroon siyang mga reflection at mga realization. Kinainggitan pa nga ng babaeng ito ang simpleng buhay ng mga Aeta. Hindi rin natin mai-de-deny na siya ay tapat lamang sa kanyang sarili. Iyan siya. Iyan ang kinalakihan niya. Maarte siya, sensitibo siya, pinandidirihan niya ang maraming bagay. Isinulat niya ang lahat ng ito dahil ito ang totoo.
Isa na bang kasalanan ngayon ang tinatawag nating honest to self? O sa Pilipino ay, nagpapakatotoo sa sarili? Sabihin nga ninyo na kasalanan ito, at pagnasabi niyo na tsaka ninyo husgahan itong babaeng ito.
Wala itong pinagkaiba sa nagkita kayo ng mga kaibigan mo at ikinuwento mo sa kanila ang karanasan mo with matching eklaboo. Wala rin itong pinagkaiba sa ipinabasa mo sa mga kaibigan mo ang iyong diary. Ngayon, may isa kang kaibigan na naghangad sa kanyang sarili o nagamit ng demonyo. Hiniram niya ang diary at pina-xerox at ipinamigay sa mga ka-klase at kung sino pa.
Ang pangyayaring ito ay ang internet na bersyon lamang. Ang kaibigan niya na nagkalanat nito ay nag screenshot at pinadala sa maraming mga tao. Sa makatuwid, lumalabas na isa lamang ito pagsha-share sa mga kaibigan niya na kanyang pinagkakatiwalaan. 'Yun lamang, may isa na medyo naiba ng landas o may ibang hangarin.
Nagkamali siya. Oo hindi rin maganda ang kanyang mga sagot, kitang-kita na umiiral ang pride sa kanyang mga isinagot sa isyu. Ito ay isa lamang uri ng tinatawag nating defense mechanism. Kinakaladkad ang kanyang pagkatao matapos siyang idobol-kros ng kaibigan niya. Maaari din na wala talaga siyang remorse, pero ito ay hindi na natin problema.
Sabihin ninyo na hindi kayo nagkakasala at matapo, ngayon ninyo sabihin ang mga sinabi ninyo laban sa kanya. Magingat sana tayo sa ating mga panghuhusga na para bang hindi rin natin ginagawa ang mga iyon.
John 8:7
"... (Jesus) said to them, 'If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.'"
thank goodness! A positive comment! Thank you so much for people who at least have the audacity to make such unbiased remarks!
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